culture shock: a top ten list

Hello. This is Josh the husband. This entry will not be a beautiful, touching, artfully crafted post like my wife's, but rather a simple reflection on my cultural adaptation process during these past two (or is it three?) weeks. I will arrange my thoughts in a top-ten format.

1. Shopping for groceries is not for the faint of heart. You better keep moving in the produce section or risk a shopping cart in the achilles. No lie, my wife witnessed a woman, who was disgusted with my pace of movement, lift her cart in the air and slam it into the ground. I believe it was supposed to be a warning shot, but I ended up with a slight flesh wound.

2. Produce section, continued: You have to put your veggies in their own plastic bag (which I am accustomed to) and then take them to a scale. You press the appropriate button that has the correct picture of the vegetable or fruit on it and then print out a little sticker to put on the bag (which I am not accustomed to.) One must be aware that when you are standing at the scale, assertive people simply cut in front of you, throw their vegetables on as you are in mid-measure. Example: I placed bananas on the scale, put on the sticker, put the bananas in my cart, went to put peppers on the scale only to find that a woman had cut in front of me with potatoes. I mean, I am up against the scale, protecting it like a pseudo-rabid raccoon, and she slipped in anyway. This has now become a game. It doesn't matter if my opponent is an 80 year-old grandmother (especially since she pushed me out of the way in the checkout line.). All is fair in love and war and grocery shopping. In the words of Charlie Sheen, I shall be victorious. But it will have to be tomorrow...hopefully.

3. I don't know Russian. But I walk around with a tough look on my face and a stern strut to compensate. I'm sure that it is not working. Perhaps it is my Wheaton Academy fleece that gives me away...

4. I am fascinated by the history here. Ancient, complex, profound, passionate. You can walk down the block and encounter the modern, the communist legacy, and then a medieval church. I'm enthralled.

5. I love my newly adopted coffee shop. They know my order and greet me with big smiles everyday. The barista painstakingly writes something in english on each cup. These messages range from "Good morning!" to "Smile today!" And I love the fact that on the door it says, "Welcome to Chicago!" I don't really get that, but it makes me feel a little closer to home.

6. When I say I am from Chicago, people's eyes light up with excitement and respond with either "Ahhhh! Capone!!" or "Gangsters!" Couple that with the fact that the restaurant next door to our apartment building is called "Capone's Bar" and the Chicago stereotype is complete. This only reinforces the perception of my history students that Capone is awesome. Or, as one of my AP students posted to my Facebook wall the other day, "See Mr. Burick!! CAPONE IS BOSS!" Ah yes, I am truly developing young lives to make a wholesome impact on our world...

7. Our facilitator, Marina, is amazing. Every time I talk to her on the phone she sounds like she is sprinting to the next court appointment ready to save another child. I don't think people thank her enough, because when we do, her face breaks into a big smile and she thanks us profusely for thanking her.

8. Our driver, Roman, is also amazing. I would have gotten into four or five accidents by now. Plus, he plays Michael Jackson's, "Bad." This, of course, starts my wife dancing in the back seat.

9. The cyrillic alphabet drives me crazy. It is really weird to have no idea whatsoever at all what most things say. But my main frustration is that I don't know something that looks so cool.

10. I am reminded of the reason why I never say in the states, "Why don't they just learn English!" Just let that marinate...

Well, I will have more of these because I am sure I am forgetting for the moment about 10 other experiences...perhaps more in the future...

I really hope I can see Vlad tomorrow. Sheesh. It's been too long.