the life of a child with special needs

I am starting to realize what a daunting task we have ahead of us. It's not the paperwork that weighs on me. It is Vlad's situation. And it is the fate of so many children with special needs in not only Vlad's country but in so many countries around the world.

When a child is born with Down Syndrome or any other number of disabilities, that child is given up for adoption and taken to what is called a baby house, an orphanage for children under the age of four. While this seems extreme in itself, keep in mind that as a parent of a child with special needs, there are no resources. There is no special education. There is no medical assistance. There is no cultural acceptance. There is no support or future for your child. If your child has a disability, you give your child away. You aren't given any other option.

And then the clock begins to tick. A child with special needs has a four year window to be adopted or something worse is waiting. For at the age of four, if you are a small child with a disability, you are transferred to a mental institution where you will live the rest of your life -- however long that may be. Most four year olds die within the first year of being committed to an institution for their lives become one without affection, interaction, stimulation, nutrition, hope -- without all the things that make us human. And all of this because they have a disability. All of this because they are different. All of this because they are like our son, Syrus.

This is what has started us on the path to bring Vlad home. When I look at our son Syrus, I can't imagine this being his life. For his story is one of such laughter and love and joy, not just from him but from us as well. He spends his day playing with so many people who love him, invest in him, and believe in him. This little boy has made me more of myself in the short 18 months that he has graced the planet than I was able to be on my own for 30 some years. And I can only imagine that Vlad will do the same if given the chance.

And this is why our task is so daunting. I don't stress out about completing a form or getting a document notarized. I am devastated by the "life" that Vlad will lead if we don't get to him in time. Vlad turned three this summer. He's got a little over ten months before he will be transferred to an institution. And to me, this is not an option. I can't allow our son to be tied into a crib for the rest of his days. I refuse to let our son think that he has no value. I won't allow our son to walk down that lonely and dehumanizing road. It won't be Syrus's life and it won't be Vlad's either.