oh boy...

So, anyone have a carseat for a 3.5 year old?

How about two convertible crib/toddler beds?

A double stroller?

A mini-van? :)

I'm starting to realize the number of items we don't have and the cost. Yikes. I know we have raised the money to adopt Vlad which is awesome, now I'm trying to figure out where the rest of these things will come from..... :)

Especially on Christmas...

The holidays are a bit bittersweet for me. I seem to do alright in the day-to-day routine of life. But I become intensely aware of the absence of my parents on days when parents are supposed to be there, like Christmas. I am on edge all day because I know at some point I will miss them and I hate missing them. It hurts too much.

But I'll tell you what makes Christmas quite sweet -- matching Paul Frank monkey pajamas and the presence of Syrus.

I mean who doesn't love a new pair of pajamas and how cool are you when you match with the people you love the most. Who couldn't help but smile just a little.

And then there is Syrus. Syrus is like a flood of healing for me -- his presence filling the absence of my parents. Not replacing them, but pushing into my wounded heart and soothing it over and over again. This little child doesn't realize just how much he mends and heals me with his zest for life, his love for me, his joyful giggle, his boundless energy, his sense of humor, and his desire to discover all the world's secrets -- all things that grief has tried to kill in me. And that Syrus is reminding me to have each day. Especially on days like Christmas.

the vote

No word on the vote -- it seems that it didn't happen today. It may be happening tomorrow morning instead (well, in a few hours since they are 8 hours ahead). If not, it will probably be postponed till mid-January. On one hand, this vote is definitely good for me -- I mean I REALLY have to just rely on God in this situation since I know nothing and have zero control over the outcome. All I can do is pray for my sweet Vlad and that his country will allow us to bring him home. Please pray with me, my friends. :)

Making a list, and checking it twice

Santa isn't the only one with a list. I have mine too -- a list of what has happened over the last 10 days. I just keep going back over it -- what a blessing!

Here is my list:

*First semester ended and finals have been graded.

*Syrus sat on Santa's lap -- hilarious pictures to be shared. :)

*Christmas shopping is SO close to done!

*I got almost our entire dossier approved! Just a couple documents left.

*On Wednesday we have our immigration fingerprints.

*Got our blood tests done for our dossier.

*Syrus has taken five steps in a row!

*All the money has been raised to adopt Vlad -- such a humbling miracle!

*And I have been praying and praying for the vote in the Ukraine.

Ah yes, the vote. It is currently scheduled for Wednesday the 22nd in the morning (which would be somewhere between midnight and 4am our time). I am trying so hard to NOT panic and cry all the time. That is my usual go-to in a time like this. I really want to trust in God's plan -- I just feel like I have had my heart ripped out so many times in the last three years that trusting Him isn't my go-to for sure. It's usually my last move after I have completely lost it. :) So, yeah, "working on trusting God with my son Vlad so that we can adopt him" is definitely going on my list of things to work on for this week. :)

no words

I feel like I should write something tonight, but I'm not sure what to say. On the one hand, there is much celebrating to do. Thanks to all of you who have so generously given money to completely fund Vlad's adoption!!! I don't have the words to express how thankful we are to be surrounded by people who have given so generously to a little boy on the other side of the world so that he could have a family -- our family. Words seem so trite. Perhaps when you see his little face in our home, that will be thanks enough. :)

And little Brady has a family! I wrote about him a few weeks ago -- he is a six year old boy with Down Syndrome who is in an institution. He is a boy I think of and cry for all too often. And now he is a boy with a family. God is good. I have no other words.

And in the midst of all the celebrating, there are talks of the Ukraine voting to shut down all international adoptions. They have talked about this in the past but this time it is different. This time no one knows IF it will happen, WHEN it would happen, and HOW LONG it would last. They want to become a Hague country which is good in theory but the process to do so would mean shutting down all adoptions indefinitely. Again, I am at a loss for words. We are so close to traveling to get Vlad. And he is so close to being transferred to an institution. We have the money. We have the paperwork almost in hand. We have little clothes and a bedroom waiting. And now this.

Please pray for the vote in the Ukraine -- it was scheduled for next week and now has been postponed to the week of Christmas. Please pray that they would continue to allow adoptions rather than stopping them indefinitely. Please pray that we would get to Vlad in time. Please pray for I have no words to describe the heartbreak both we and Vlad would experience. Please pray. Just pray.

christmas time is here again...

I love how things like traditions and memories get passed from one generation to another. Yesterday we took Syrus to get a Christmas tree and he wore a sweater and hat that were his dad's when he was little -- hand-knit by Pie who was Syrus's great grandmother.

And today we have been decorating the tree, unearthing ornaments that my parents used to hang on our tree when I was little. Syrus was especially interested in the Sesame Street ornaments that I loved as a child. And today he helped to hang them on our tree.

I can't wait for Vlad to enter into the traditions and memories of our family -- he will have these special things passed to him because he will have a family to share it all. He will wear his dad's baby clothes and pick out his favorite ornament next year when Christmas time is here again.

trucking along

I love this photo of Vlad -- sure it's from far away and he's not looking at the camera or anything. But still I love that he is in his half-tucked in yellow shirt, blue shorts, and gray tights, and he is trucking along back to his place with the kids.

This is what I imagine him looking like when I meet him for the first time -- I picture him with the same half-smile on his face, walking with big strides right into my arms and me pulling him close for the first of many hugs. How sweet it will be for him to come trucking along back to his place with the Buricks.